i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life
“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”
“no, i said she was fucking goofy”
opening the fridge for the first time after someone went grocery shopping
once i was having a sleepover and it was like three in the morning and my friend just says ‘what if there was a store just for food?’
then three minutes later she blurted out ‘grocery store’
coming out to your parents by saying swiggity swag guess whos a fag
2 life vests left on the titanic
this one’s for me.. this one’s for my homies who died tonight *tosses into ocean*
STOP UNFOLLOWING ME I HAVE 5 CHILDREN AND A WIFE TO SUPPORT
you are a gay teenage boy
NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN